Most people crave something new at some point in their lives. When it comes to sex specifically, that’s why people usually want to try out different sex positions, find new ways to orgasm, and introduce a myriad of sex toys into play. But How? ‘Or’ What people spice up their sex life totally depends on what they are looking to achieve.
Some people may be interested in trying BDSM because the power play sounds sexy; other people may want to engage in different role-playing scenarios for the thrill. But no matter how adventurous you want to be, allow us to offer you perhaps the easiest way to spice up your sex life: temperature play.
Temperature play is a form of erotic exploration that uses heat and cold to stimulate and excite the senses, Carol Queen, PhD, sex therapist for a sex toy retailer good vibes, said. A lot can fall under the “temperature game” umbrella, which is why it’s a really solid option for those who aren’t looking to venture too far from the vanilla lifestyle. and for those who like to play more kinky.
If that sounds like you, here’s everything you need to know about temperature play, including how to incorporate it into your sex life right after reading this article.
What is Temperature Play?
Temperature play is what happens when you incorporate different temperatures into your sex life in an effort to stimulate those feel-good erogenous zones on the body. Depending on what you prefer, you can use both heat and cool variations, but the options are virtually endless. In fact, you may already be doing things in your sex life that you didn’t know would be considered “temperature play.”
As for how it works and why it’s so great, Queen says Temperature Play introduces a new way of experiencing pleasure that you’re probably not used to. Plus, “your neurology naturally reacts to temperature swings — and for some, that can add to the erotic response or help uncover issues we didn’t know we had.”
What are some ways to incorporate temperature play into your sex life?
An easy way to start exploring different temperatures on your body is in the shower or bath. “If you have a hand-held shower massager, you can aim it at the genitals or anywhere you want to explore the effects of temperature change,” says Queen. If you don’t have a hand held shower head, you can use this Waterslyde product to experience similar sensations – just note that it is better suited for bathing than showering. That said, Queen warns that a strong jet of water of any temperature should not be allowed to rush into the vagina, as it can be dangerous. “If you’re playing with a douche massager on the genitals, focus on the outside,” says Queen.
Another great option for temperature play? Use an ice cube. For solo action, run the ice cube over your body, paying particular attention to how you feel on common erogenous zones like your neck, nipples, and inner thighs. For couple play, you can drip the ice cube over their pleasure points or put it in your mouth while you make love to them.
If you’re looking to get a little more advanced, you can invest in a sex toy designed to play with temperature. This Lora Dicarlo bullet vibrator heats up to 104 degrees, which is just slightly above body temperature. According to the website, it “targets that heat to your G-spot, clitoris, or any external erogenous zone for maximum pleasure, and provides even, consistent heat for improved circulation, arousal, and relaxation.”
You can also heat or cool a sex toy yourself by placing it in the freezer or boiling it in lukewarm water, as long as the product is airtight. Queen recommends using glass or metal sex toys because a change in temperature will last less on a silicone toy. Just be sure to let the temperature cool down before using it immediately. “If it went in the freezer, let it warm up a bit before playing with it. If it was in boiling water, it’s too hot,” she says, and you should let it cool. A good rule of thumb? If it’s too hot or too cold to pick up, it shouldn’t touch any part of your body just yet.
Finally, you can try incorporating massage candles into your sex routine. Just note that you’ll want to use specific massage candles and not a regular candle you have in your apartment, since massage candles have a lower melting temperature, Queen says. As for how to use it, Queen suggests lighting the candle and pouring or pouring it directly onto the skin.
Any tips for further improving the gaming temperature?
Don’t be afraid to bring a headband into the mix, because it “engages the element of surprise,” Queen says. Your partner will not know when to expect the wave of cold or heat on his body, making the pleasure all the more intense.
Another thing: don’t just focus on the genitals. “The whole body is sensitive to heat and cold. And remember, if you’ve chilled an area with ice or whatever, it’ll be amazing if a hot mouth starts exploring it next.”
Most importantly, take it easy at first. No need to dive straight into an extremely cold or hot sensation. Talk to your partner and discuss your two limits, then prepare strategies and materials for warming up someone who’s too cold or cooling down someone who’s too hot, recommends Queen. Experts also advise agreeing on a safe word, like “pineapple” or “red,” before you start the temperature game so you can stop at any time if something goes wrong.